Hi, everyone!
I had been thinking and considering what I should publish for my first “official” blog post. I immediately thought of an assignment I had to complete for one of my writing courses. For that eight-week online course, we were each required to write 4,000 words about our Faith Journey, or essentially, our testimonies. I found this assignment challenging, but worthwhile. So, I decided to publicly share it here! This week, you’ll read the first half, then next week, I’ll publish the second.
I hope this encourages you! If you have any questions or comments, feel free to leave them below or email me at sarahbaylorwrites@gmail.com
______________________________________________________
A faith journey is something that grows, progresses, and develops over a lifetime. It’s something that may become stagnant, but it is also something that takes work and effort. My personal relationship with Jesus hasn’t always been easy, but it’s something that I try to work on every single day. I believe that it is important to reflect on this journey and how I have grown in my relationship with Jesus Christ. Sometimes, it can be hard to share these stories, either because of the content, or because of the vulnerability that it takes to proclaim this information. As Christians, it is important to share our testimonies with other believers, to testify of what the Lord has done in our lives and how we continue to live, honor, and serve Him.
When I think about my personal faith journey, I first remember the moment that I accepted Jesus into my life. This time of praying to accept Jesus into your heart is typically a pivotal moment for most Christians. It usually happens with a Bible story or sermon being shared, then a time of saying a “repeat after me” prayer. Usually, it ends with a stronger, more veteran Christian, coming alongside the new believer by guiding them and asking questions of their new found faith.. I believe it also helps lay the foundation for the believer, as it tends to be the one moment that the Christian can say, “that’s when I first became a Christian.” In my opinion, it also starts the personal faith journey.
For me, this moment happened when I was four years old.
To give some context, I was born into a Christian home with two loving and Christ-serving parents. My dad was (and still is!) a pastor at our church and my mom has always served alongside him (and she still does!). My home church was hosting a week-long Vacation Bible School and Thursday was always “Gospel Day.” This was the day that the gospel was presented to the attendees and to a four year old me. I remember sitting in the sanctuary of our church, the blue carpet and blue fabric of the pews mingling with the sunlight pouring in from the high windows as well as through the stained glass window that formed a cross behind the stage. My dad happened to be sharing the message that day and at the end after the prayer, he had all of the children who prayed that prayer to accept Jesus into their hearts, raise their hand. I honestly cannot remember what truly prompted me to raise my hand or to proclaim Christ as Lord over my life from that point on. I truly believe I had an understanding of the life versus death, heaven versus hell choice that had to be made, and something in my little four year old mind made me want to choose life with Jesus at that point. I remember being ushered to the back of the sanctuary where I huddled in a group with other new, small believers. An adult I had known for my entire four years on earth asked us questions about the Gospel and our choice to accept Jesus into our hearts.
“She definitely understands the decision she just made,” the Vacation Bible School leader told my dad later. This has always been something that he reiterates whenever this story has been retold through the years.
I firmly believe I did understand the decision I made at the young age of four. I chose Jesus. I chose eternity in heaven, away from the fiery flames of hell. I chose church. I chose ministry and serving others, just as my parents did. I also believe that I made this decision of my own volition. I think that since my earliest years were surrounded by great, strong Christians, and with my parents serving in ministry, this did influence my decision to accept Jesus into my life. It really and truly was my choice at this point.
It would not be until my teenage years that I would grasp an understanding of what giving your life to Jesus truly meant. And it wouldn’t be until my college years that I would firmly be able to live that out for myself. But, I’m jumping ahead of the rest of my story.
Life in general was – for the most part – a blur from the age of four until the age of eleven. I attended the same church – the same church I prayed the prayer of salvation in. My parents and I were involved in most of the ministries and outreaches there. My uncle served as the youth pastor, so we worked alongside him and my aunt. Church events were always a family affair – and I loved it! We were busy at least each night every week, and of course every Sunday, as well as most Saturdays.
I never disliked being a pastor’s kid (PK for short). I’m an only child, so I also had my parent’s full attention growing up. I loved serving each week and being a part of the church ministry. It wasn’t just work either. In the summer, I would also be a participant of my church’s Vacation Bible School, much like the one where I accepted Christ into my heart. We would also have a week-long sports outreach ministry that I was also a part of (even though the sports skills didn’t stick around for long).
I remember one summer, we were going door to door in the neighborhood located by our church, handing out fliers about Vacation Bible School (VBS) and talking with families. We knocked on one door, handed the man the flier about VBS, and I vividly remember him crumbling the paper with his hand and chucking it out the door at us. Following this action, he slammed the door in our faces. Was I shocked? Maybe, but growing up in northern California, in a suburb just outside and across the Golden Gate Bridge away from San Francisco, I was basically used to it. It didn’t scare me. My parents taught me well too.
“Just remember,” my mom would tell me, “it’s not us that they’re against, but unfortunately, they’re against Jesus and His message.” This always stuck out to me growing up and helped me shift my perspective when talking with non-believers that may not agree with everything I believe.
During my early childhood, I learned all of the Bible stories. I memorized all of the important scriptures. I could recite them from memory and I would get little plastic awards for saying so many of them from my AWANA (Christian Children’s Club) leader. I’d attend Bible quizzing where I got to show off my skills in Bible verse memorization for other church groups (most of the time – I was a little stage-shy though).
In other words, I knew my stuff. I knew God loved me and that I loved God. I knew I had to serve Him. I knew I believed in Him and that I had accepted Him into my heart by my own decision, my own choice. I never felt forced to do church activities with my parents. I just knew it was good, right, and true. And I wanted to be a part of that.
When I was eleven years old, my life kind of turned upside down in a way that it never really had before. I tried to see the benefits in the midst of the chaos, but it was sometimes hard for me to wrap my head around it.
I remember it like it was yesterday. It was a Wednesday night because we had just gotten back from serving at AWANA. My parents said that they wanted to talk to me about something. The three of us sat at our kitchen table, my dad across from me, and my mom to my left. I can still picture my mom sitting there next to me as my dad told me that he had applied to a lead pastor position at another church, about an hour and a half from where we lived now.
For the first eleven years of my life, I lived in the same house. I attended the same church, with the same people who watched me grow up. I had the same friends since birth. I also had attended the most amazing Christian school since pre-kindergarten. Our whole family lived within ten minutes of each other and we were always at each other’s houses, celebrating events or simply having a movie night with snacks.
The second half of my sixth grade year was filled with my dad traveling between where we had lived in Fairfield, California to a tiny town called Cloverdale, further north in California. My mom and I would travel to Cloverdale on the weekends when my dad started his new pastor position in a small church. This church had no more than seventy-five people on Sunday mornings and no more than two children in the children’s church ministry. During the weekdays, my mom and I would stay in my childhood home while I finished school. I remember our drives to Cloverdale on Friday evenings. I would sit slumped in the backseat, holding my school’s freshly printed yearbook, as I flipped through each page and analyzed every picture. Those pages were filled with memories and friends and teachers I’d known since preschool.
Soon, I graduated from sixth grade and we made one final trip from Fairfield to Cloverdale. We still had family in Fairfield, but that last trip up to Cloverdale felt final as we said goodbye to living permanently in Fairfield.
Cloverdale, California is positioned in the northern part of what’s nationally known as Wine Country. Rolling hills covered with rows and rows of vineyards, like a crocheted blanket, surrounded the town of Cloverdale – population just over 8,000. Our new church – First Baptist Church of Cloverdale – sat in an L-shape building on a small lot.
“I really like it,” I whispered to my mom as one of the deacons gave us the tour on our first visit there as a family. My dad was the new pastor and we were called to ministry there as a family. I was going to like it, even if it was too hard to leave our home church.
Our first Sunday there, I had the opportunity to meet the rest of the youth group. As an eleven year old, I was full of preteen emotions and excitement, hoping to easily click into the group, while trying to not let my shy personality get the better of me. Each member of the youth group was at least two years older than I was at the time, and the two children in the children’s church were at least two years younger than me.
It was the hardest transition my little eleven year old self had to go through, but it came with many blessings that I would not have experienced elsewhere. I did not see these experiences as blessings until later in life, but after much reflection and personal growth, I was able to become grateful for what we experienced when we were living in Cloverdale.
Growing up, the ministries that I was a part of, were – for the most part – ministries that my parents were involved with as well. However, in Cloverdale, I was a part of the worship team under great leadership. I also formed a small youth worship band with other members of the youth group. I went from attending AWANA as a student, to leading a group of kindergarteners through second graders each week. During the summers, instead of being a participant of Vacation Bible School, I took on a leadership role of teaching the daily Bible story and sharing the Gospel on Thursday of the week. The Lord was able to bring many children to Him, and I was grateful to be part of it.
I loved that I had a front row seat to watching my parents take a church with only two children, and grow the ministry through outreach with amazing leaders at the church as well. After a couple of years in Cloverdale, we began to have more than a hundred children or so come through our doors and hear the news of Jesus Christ. I was grateful for this amazing experience of ministry and I was thankful that I was able to be a part of it, even if it was a small part.
Despite the difficulty of moving at eleven years old, I knew we were there for a purpose and I was becoming excited to see it unfold. I know now that those experiences in my early childhood and later on in Cloverdale helped shape me into the woman I am today. Little did I know that this was only a small stepping stone, and that the good times – and the bad times – provided lessons from the Lord.